YOU too can save a life

Even YOU need to know how to be prepared to save a life

when someone has

thoughts of suicide

I knew the Heimlich Maneuver and CPR but never used it or even saw it applied. Yet, in addition to saving the life of my 3-yr old son, I have intervened four times with someone contemplating suicide, and they are all still with us.

A Quick 7 minute Video

Don't Do It - Suicide is Never the Right Answer

You can call 988 anytime for help and support.

Ron Driver shares in our interview (on the Interviews page) that after many years of overcoming and recovering from struggles, including 72 hours of withdrawal, handcuffed to a gurney in the hall, vomiting and pooping, 16 years later, during the pandemic, his perfect storm of circumstances led him to want to end his life.

His call to 988, and their intervention to have Ron connect with a family member, saved his life.

Our Objectives are Simple

We not only want to help others save lives, we want to help others improve their lives.

Be Willing Start Conversations About Difficult and Sometimes Painful Subjects
Help People Learn How to Become Prepared to Take Action to Save a Life
Help People Have the Courage to Act, to Ask the Question

WHY?

Why gratitude?

Because I am convinced gratitude is a major key to freedom and happiness in life. My pandemic life motto that I am a slave to gratitude was tested the night before my first Toastmasters speech when I received a call that my 39 yr old daughter had died. The time I was to spend outlining and practicing my speech was spent in thought and reflection. I was able to deliver my speech, and it was voted the best speech.

More information, and a video recording of my Gratitude speech are on the Benefits of Gratitude page.

Why forgiveness?

Because late in life I realized forgiveness is even more important than gratitude. Better Late Than Never. We need to forgive others who have harmed us, or intended us harm, or even encouraged ourselves to harm ourselves. Not because someone asked us for forgiveness, or they would even be grateful we had forgiven them, no, because we need to put the bad and pain into the past once and for all.

More information, and wise insights from others, are on the Benefits of Forgiveness page.

Why humor?

I personally observed my friend Tom Malone, diagnosed with a rare cancer, terminal, stage 4, given less than 6 months to live - surprised everyone by living 7 more years. His wife Tammy agrees with me that Tom's sense of humor and positive attitude played a major role in this.

Norman Cousins, also given less than 6 months to live with a painful terminal disease, cured himself with humor, wrote a book about it, which began many years of scientific studies proving the benefits of humor to both physical and mental health.

More information can be found on the Benefits of Humor page.

In addition, in my second interview with Lou Koon, he shares the story of a homeless vet, 1500 miles away, on the phone with Lou, the vet is suicidal, has his 45 pistol, tells Lou not to call the police - will be suicide by police - and Lou uses humor to save his life.

In that second interview I also share my favorite funny dog story - had him going for a while!

The Importance of Family and Connection

Example 1:

In my interview with Ron, he shares how during the pandemic his wife left, he lost his job, he got COVID, and his car broke - further isolating him. He was suicidal, but called the 988 helpline. The 988 counselor convinced him to call someone who was family, then waited and had a 3-way conversation with Ron and his niece. Everyone agreed that Ron would go to a facility for observation. The 988 hotline, and Ron's family saved his life.

Example 2:

In my interview with Sandy, we discuss some of the methods used by abusive husbands to isolate their victim from family and friends. In her case her first husband accomplished that by moving them to another state, away from all family and friends. Key to her recovery from the suicide of one son and the murder of the other, and many other trials, was having a good husband who cared and supported her - literally saved her life upon a stroke and heart attack.

Example 3:

At the suicide forest in Japan, notes and signs asking the potential suicide victim to consider and think about their family, and the effect the suicide would have on them.

Example 4:

There was the case of a policeman who was upset and violent, with his pistol, in his home. The policeman wanted to kill himself largely to punish his wife. The friend was able to get him to reconsider and hand over the pistol by encouraging the policeman to think about what effects his suicide would have on his children.

Some Thoughts on Panic - Panic Kills

More than likely, to get to this website, or after arriving, you saw my 7 minute video on the "coincidences" and timing worked just right for me to be able to save my 3-yr-old son floating face-down in the pool. A friend of mine pointed out that for me to be able to pull him out, and no water in the lungs, etc. was about a 20 sec window.

But more important, he was floating still, holding his breath. A common reaction to someone who cannot swim being in the water is panic. In fact, rescuers often had to approach the person in distress from behind to avoid being grabbed and dragged down too - both drowning. But Matt did not panic, and because of that, he did not die.

When I was 15 I took a scuba diving course at the YMCA - the entire course taught in the swimming pool. But at the end of the course there was a qualifying dive, in a flooded quarry. While at the bottom, 100 feet down, I ran out of air. I did not panic, my instructor could share some air, but also, as we slowly ascended, the lower pressure made some air available in my tank.

The reason I share these thoughts on panic is that in the two cases I was thinking of and planning suicide, I was in a panic. Both times it was a panic based on a pessimistic mindset, and a visualization of things in the future I did not think I could handle.

So, panic indeed kills, and if someone is panicking, a priority is to calm them down -

listen, support, disuade what they are in panic over.

Meet Kenneth "Lou" Koon

Kenneth (“Lou”) Koon, a retired military chaplain, was rescued from a dark suicidal time when his son recognized a change in routine and intervened.

Lou went on to develop suicide intervention training, create the Stop Suicide USA organization, and publish a book on his methodology, Listen Learn Lead: Courage to Ask, Power to Save [links on the resources page].

He has personally intervened over 2000 times and they area all still alive.

He has trained over 30,000 people in suicide prevention, including many first responders and military personnel.

Meet Mark Gredler

Mark Gredler had a nervous breakdown when he had to leave Spain after working 10 years in Madrid. He faced 23 years of mental health struggles, including depression, atypical bipolar, and suicidal thoughts twice. He was finally able to resolve many root causes rather than place bandaids on symptoms.

He now has over seven years with no meds, no psychiatrists, no hospital stays.

He lost 4 coworkers to suicide after his return from Spain, one of whom he had had many personal conversations with. Still, he never shared his recovery from mental health struggles because he never saw any signs of struggles or distress in the coworker. After losing a fellow leader in a 12-step recovery program to suicide, he decided to do something to raise public awareness on the need to be prepared to save a life, especially for those who have never been personally exposed to the subject.

Meet Ron Driver

Ron Driver was Mark’s instructor in the newcomers class, on Mark’s first night at a 12-step recovery program, where he had gone to learn how to fix his daughter, who was addicted to Oxycontin.

Ron and Mark became friends, Mark hired some of the men from Ron’s ministry, and Ron permitted Mark to use his logo - the wounded heart at the top of this page.

Ron and Mark ran into each other 17 years later, and Ron shared his experience with depression and suicidal thoughts during the pandemic and that his life was saved by the 988 suicide prevention hotline. We filmed an interview together, which is on our interviews page here, and Ron jumped in with both feet to be a part of this effort to raise public awareness .